What is the MOST valuable leadership soft skill to me? And by soft skill, I mean outside the specific discipline a leader specializes in. As I look across my career as a leader, here's the one skill that I've worked hard to hone over time and that has moved the needle most for me.
It is being able to tap into the thoughts, fears, excitement and hopes of another person, regardless of how I may feel, long enough to experience their feelings and get to where they are. It's leaving my side of the table; then emotionally and intellectually moving to the other person's side of the conversation.
It means that I tap into how they were raised instead of how I was raised. It means I feel their fears. It means asking lots of clarifying questions, then asking them "what else?". It means relaxing and being approachable. It may mean laughing or even crying with them when I feel what they feel. I must truly seek to feel and understand where they are coming from and where they are headed. It's powerful and has taken me years to learn.
The benefits? Regardless of how far apart I am with the decisions another person is making, it lets me leave my position and experience being them for a little while. THEN I can come back to my own role and decide how to lead, how to guide and how to teach.
Sometimes it helps me see clearly that a person cannot do the job I am asking them to do. Other times, it helps me lead them to a better place that is unique to them. And often times, understanding their fears helps me understand their actions when I could not logically understand them before.
I've learned that from the newest team member to the CEO, most of us are emotional beings that crave a leader who cares about us and understands us. And once we get there, leading teams and growing the business becomes a lot easier and a lot more fun.
