Did you know that you can tell a person on your team what you are thinking without saying it? It's true. Not only is this possible; but it happens every day without you even knowing it. Every study I've read and a thousand personal interactions I've had all say the same thing...communication is mostly NON-VERBAL. In fact, your non-verbal communication trumps what you say to a person. This means you can tell a person "I am SO DONE with you." with your tone, body language and a few well-placed sighs at the exact same time your words tell them you want to help them survive to fight another day. Or you can use your non-verbal ninja skills to tell them, "Don't give up. We can do this together." or "I've got your back. Let's try some new things." Non-verbal signals are POWERFUL in the office and in your home. And your NV signals are much (much) stronger than your words. Some strong signals you can send with your voice tone, body language and eye contact include:
- I've never met anyone as stupid as you. Why do I have to work with you?
- You are never going to be any better than you are today. This is a waste of time.
- I have so many more important things to do right now than to listen to your problems.
- I've never met anyone with your unique set of gifts. Let's figure out how to use them.
- You have so much potential. We just have to tap into it the right way.
- Spending this time with you is the most important thing I could be doing right now. (as you turn your phone face down on the table)
This may be one of the most important things I've learned when it comes to leading and influencing people. If you need someone to give you some honest feedback about your non-verbal game, give me a shout. This is big.