Leadership is influence.

And influence is a mix of some things we are born with, like charisma, and some things we learn, like being a good listener.

A good leader has a lot of influence and that is a great quality to have. But there is a place where trying to influence takes a nasty turn into trying to control.

A desire to control some things can be a good leadership quality as long as it remains healthy with healthy boundaries. But controlling people often looks like using negative things like fear to motivate behaviors or prevent people from leaving.

Controlling people is a short game.

It’s a myth.

It’s something that leaders sometimes believe will keep people from outgrowing them and leaving them.

It may slow the process down a bit; but ultimately people are people and they are going to do what they want. Instead of trying to control people to keep them in check, it’s so much better to cheer them on.

And often it means that people that report to you will surpass you in certain areas that they are gifted in.

Our job as leaders is to fan the flame…help them realize their full potential. Some will leave, some will stay.

Both outcomes can be good for them and for your organization.